Taming the mean green Hulking teen
'Hulk' opening presents chance to teach kids
how to manage anger
Childrens Medical Center
DALLAS
(June 20, 2003) — Parents don’t have
to worry about the adverse affects of gamma radiation
unleashing their teenager’s bouts of
anger and emotional stress. Hormones and rebellion
can accomplish that faster than the 25 seconds
to five minutes it takes Bruce Banner to turn
into the Hulk.
But as the 1,500 pounds of unrepressed rage
and fury, otherwise known as The Hulk,
opens in theaters across the country, parents
can use the movie to introduce anger management
to their teenage children.
“Helping adolescents and young children
appropriately express
anger does not mean that you are encouraging
them to stifle their emotions,” said Dr.
Peter L. Stavinoha, a neuropsychologist at Children’s
Medical Center Dallas.
“Kids learn how to deal with anger and disappointment
by watching those around them and parents are
first-in-line role models, whether or not they
realize their kids are paying attention to parents’
behaviors.”
By adolescence children should have a cognitive
sense of what’s appropriate and not, he
said. However, as hormones, peers and the need
to demonstrate independence start to influence
behavior,
teenagers too can start behaving like the large
green beast of movie and television fame.
“Adults shouldn’t take teens’
emotional highs and lows personally,” Stavinoha
said. “You have to remember, it’s
kind of like their developmental job to behave
as they sometimes do and it is a part of growing
up. The teen years are when children start to
assert their individuality and rebelliousness,
stubbornness, arguing
and digging in of heels is a misguided effort
to assert their independence.”
However, Stavinoha said, it’s up to adults
to help children appropriately express anger or
disappointment by primarily acting as role models
and offering alternative responses to anger and
disappointment instead of delineating what they
can’t do. Those alternative behaviors
may include developing a mutually agreed signal
that says, “I need time out to talk,”
or writing in a journal, taking a walk, or relaxation
techniques like counting to 10 and taking deep
breaths to maintain calmness.
Other anger
management skills parents and teenagers can
practice, according to Stavinoha:
Start anew. If you can’t get through an
emotional impasse, let it go and discuss the situation
the next day. It’s a chance to start with
a clean slate and another chance practice good
behavior.
Modeling behavior. Family members are role models,
but teens may be more strongly influenced by peers
and pop culture trends. Monitor who and what might
be influencing a teen’s behavior.
Reinforce appropriate anger
expression. If a child deals with frustration
and anger in an acceptable way, the effort should
be recognized. Never reward inappropriate expressions
of anger.
Acknowledge and label feelings. They may not
acknowledge their anger and may likely grumble
“nothing” or “I’m fine”
under their breath, but it’s helpful to
talk and tell them you clearly see something is
bothering them. It’s important to not let
emotions build up.
Negotiate. Negotiating through an impasse
shows a teenager how to deal with conflict
and illustrates differences can be resolved without
ending up in a fight.
Use effective punishment. Punishment for inappropriate
behavior should be relatively short term, but
potent so that it means something to the child.
However, stress alternatives to bad behavior.
Express the need to work it out now. Frame issues
in black and white terms. Encourage a child to
express anger and be non-judgmental. Give a sense
that talking it out can help resolve situations
quickly.
Childrens Medical Center
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